In Which I Walk Out Into The Day

I actually wrote a "poem!" I've done this sort of thing before, but it's been at least 15 years and perhaps more, so this is really unusual for me. I've been working on the poem and the pictures since Wednesday. Today is Saturday. I didn't realize how hard it would be or how much time it would take, but I'm so glad I did it! I've learned a lot and it has fed my heart.

The poem expresses my feelings about being out in a wonderful spring day, but it doesn't really express what a victory it was for me. Because of the respiratory difficulties I have I don't get around much. In fact, away from the house I usually use a wheel chair. I love to garden, but last year I was able to make it out to the garden only three times all season, and then it was just to look. It was sad to miss out on such an important, creative, and joyful, part of my life.

This year promises to be different. In spite of lung specialists saying that the only way I could ever get any better would be to have a lung transplant, I am getting better! Some of the details are posted in my "Sarcoid Adventure" postings down below, and more will be forthcoming at a later time. For now, even though sometimes it feels like I am taking baby steps, I am acknowledging that significant things are happening.

What made my "Walk Out Into The Day" a little scary was that I didn't tell anyone I was going and didn't even have my cell phone with me. Yes, it's just in the back yard, but we have a rather large yard, and going back to the house is up hill. Last year I couldn't do that without stopping to rest so when I felt impressed to "just go for it," I was really going on faith. It worked, and I loved it, and I know I can do it again.

In Which I Walk Out Into The Day

I stepped out onto the deck
Grateful that the frost two nights ago
Had left the star magnolias alone.
They were still gorgeous in their brilliance.
Their dazzling whiteness reflected the sun
Right back to the sky.

Later in the day
That strange-looking green plant
Way out by the fence, caught my eye
And I went towards it.
Something whispered to me
To go ahead and seize the opportunity
To soak up the sun, and
Enjoy the brilliance of the afternoon
And the spectacular scene around me

The swing house was in the shade
And I craved sun,
So I sat behind the swing seat
Where a patch of bright warmth
Bathed the floorboards.
I sat and soaked in the sun
And enjoyed
The fragrance, the lighting,
The breeze, the birds.

A cardinal fluttered down
To perch on a rung of the old ladder
That’s been planted out there
As a reminder of the fun times
The children used to have in
A long-ago playhouse
And the joy I had in watching them.
Those memories seem
Long ago and far away
Yet close at hand and very real.
They are a part of me,
A part of this place.

If/when we move from here
I shall miss this place.
This expanse of green
With dappled shade has become
A haven of peace and beauty,
Of nurturing to my soul,
Of joy to my heart

The redbud trees are
Swelling with anticipation.
I am a little sad that they don’t open at
The same time as those brilliant white stars.
How lovely that would be!
But at the same time
I am glad they don’t.
Nature has her perfect way.

The white stars will gradually fade
Only to be replaced by the almost
Lacy purple of the redbuds.
With any luck the redbuds will still
Be in bloom when the dogwoods
Begin to share their delicate story.

Later in the summer
That mysterious bright green plant
That drew me out into the day
And said “Come, come see who I am”
Will die down and disappear.
Suddenly one day,
When the time is just exactly right,
She will announce herself proudly
For her name is Amaryllis.
I’m glad I found out who she is
And I will be looking forward
To beholding her beauty.

Thank you Amaryllis for inviting
Me into your world today,
And for reminding me that everything
Has its own beauty in its own time.
I’m glad I came.

Love, Kathey

I didn't know what I would find when I went out onto the deck this morning. We had a bad frost two nights ago. Last year around this time we had several days of freezing weather which killed our spring flowers. Literally all the flowers that were blooming died. The magnolia flowers, daffodils, and any crocus that were still around, all were frozen. I was afraid something similar had happened this year, and I was so glad to see that it hadn't.

I did have reason to be concerned. It got very cold again last night. If you look closely at the next two pictures you will see that there is still frost on the ground.

Fortunately our plants came through unscathed. Later in the day when I went out again I could tell that the Royal Star Magnolia flowers were not only healthy, but I decided they were the best I've seen in years.

They were literally so white that it hurt my eyes to look at them up close. I tried to capture that dazzling brilliance, but the camera just couldn't do it justice.

When I first went out on the deck I noticed a very green, rather large plant in the landscaping over by the fence. I didn't remember anything being there, so I wondered if it were some colossal weed.

In the above picture the mystery plant is a dark green spikey thing to the left of center, next to a huge, unruly-looking bush. Can't tell what it is? Well, neither could I. Perhaps you can't even tell what I'm referring to so here's a close-up.

I hadn't planned to go out there just then, but what can I say, it called to me to go investigate. It was the first nice day we've had, and I was craving some sunshine. It was sunny, and warm yet still cool. It was gorgeous! (I went back later with the camera.)

I wandered around the yard, soaking in the loveliness and the fragrance of the star magnolias. It was wonderful just being out there. I almost didn't include the next picture because it's too "busy" but it shows the wonderful old spruce (I think) tree in our neighbor's yard. Perhaps you can grasp the cozy, protected feeling it lends to our back corner.

This next picture isn't from the back yard, but I had to add it here because it includes Mollie. She likes being where the action is, and didn't want to be left out.

I have fond memories of vacations I went on with my parents when my brother, Arthur, and I were small. Motels were not common in those days, and besides, they were more expensive. My dad always looked for homes that advertised "tourist rooms." One place, probably in Wisconsin, had a lovely, shaded yard with a white lawn swing. My brother and I played on it and had the best time pretending we were on a great exploring trip out in the wilds. Ever since then I've had a yearning to have a lawn swing. I also wanted it to have a roof so it could be shaded. Jim and I found this one and gave it to ourselves as a 40th anniversary present two years ago. We have come to call it "The Swing House."

I wanted to sit and enjoy my surroundings. The Swing house was mostly in the shade, and I was craving sun so I looked around until I found a spot that I thought would do.

This sunny spot turned out to be just the thing. I was able to sit quite comfortably on the floor boards. From here I even had a good view of the mystery plant. Amaryllis, which is sometimes called "Magic Lily," will send up leaves in the spring. After awhile the leaves die down and disappear. It's easy to forget they were there. Then in late June or early July a flower stalk suddenly appears as if from nowhere. When in bloom, the stalk is surrounded with a crown of light pink, trumpet-shaped flowers. For now I'm content to see the leaves and I'm glad it's not some colossal weed after all. Off to the side and down a ways, I could see the old ladder. Last year it had a clematis growing on it. Hopefully we'll soon have it upright again. I'm sorry I didn't get a picture of the cardinal.

Those lovely white stars will soon be gone, it's true, but just as day follows night, they will be back again. In the meantime I will enjoy what comes.

The redbud trees are swelling with anticipation…